I had the realization while in Florida, that while life certainly isnt easy - it is good. And for that, I am so very thankful.
Life has been crazy, as usual...
Two weeks ago my 75 yo Mom (well actually my surrogate Mom, but still) called from Florida. She has been going through some challenges this year: a major neck surgery, home foreclosure, bankruptcy, and a second major surgery on the near term radar.
She procured senior subsidized housing and had been trying to move in for about 6 weeks. The rest of the fam and friends had been working hard to get her moved in and settled, but it just hadnt quite come together. No one was dedicated to getting the job done, though many people had provided quite a bit of assistance. Mom was hurting herself physically trying to do so much, and it became clear I needed to step in.
I decided to fly from CA to FL on 3 days notice to project manage the situation. The main goals were to get everything out of the old house she wanted and everything at the new house as settled as possible.
I was exhausted before I departed from moving the BF and myself into our new home in Oct + work + 2nd work. But I was also excited. A big reason for wanting to pay off that 43k in bad cc debt over the last year, was to be able to help Mom if/when she needed it.
I was able to pay for my flight ($240 roundtrip CA to FL on 3 days notice!!), groceries for her house, new shelving, movers, and leave her with some cash -- with cash (no cc!). That felt very, very good - being able to help without compromising my own situation. :)
I came home last Monday, worked Tues/Wed and then enjoyed a restful and relaxing Thanksgiving weekend with my BF.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
unjaded - the new thankful
Inspired by Mr Budgets are Sexy to think about some of the Ups at my current job situation.
- I met my significant other here (though he has moved on to a new, awesome job)
- The people. I was pulled into this company by friends I worked with at my first startup in SF (about 8 years ago!). A decent sized group of these coworkers have been people I consider great friends for years.
- I believe in the founders. Ive known them for almost 8 years too. One of the founders is my direct boss.
- My direct boss is extremely positive. He recognizes my accomplishments, reminds me often how much he appreciates me, and generally kicks ass.
- My work is fun. It can be intense and frustrating, but I actually enjoy the work I do.
- I am well rewarded for my work. Great base pay, good bonus structure.
- The culture is very fun. Beer pong, bbq in the courtyard, gamerator (video game machine + beer tap!), full bar, mini motorcycle
- I dont have an office or a cube. I have a couch I work from.
- I work on a sweet mac and an iphone boss paid for.
- The company could make me a bunch of cash eventually. Having options in a company I think could hit it big feels good.
- I met my significant other here (though he has moved on to a new, awesome job)
- The people. I was pulled into this company by friends I worked with at my first startup in SF (about 8 years ago!). A decent sized group of these coworkers have been people I consider great friends for years.
- I believe in the founders. Ive known them for almost 8 years too. One of the founders is my direct boss.
- My direct boss is extremely positive. He recognizes my accomplishments, reminds me often how much he appreciates me, and generally kicks ass.
- My work is fun. It can be intense and frustrating, but I actually enjoy the work I do.
- I am well rewarded for my work. Great base pay, good bonus structure.
- The culture is very fun. Beer pong, bbq in the courtyard, gamerator (video game machine + beer tap!), full bar, mini motorcycle
- I dont have an office or a cube. I have a couch I work from.
- I work on a sweet mac and an iphone boss paid for.
- The company could make me a bunch of cash eventually. Having options in a company I think could hit it big feels good.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Out of personal loan debt, back in cc debt
Good news: I made the 2nd and final payment on my personal loan on time. Goal achieved! And it feels good to be rid of that $4k in debt :)
Not as good news: I decided to utilize a 0% interest cash advance option on one of my credit cards. $7k was used for: deposit + 1.5 months of rent on my *awesome* new home + movers + new bed + new snow tires on the Cayenne.
I had expected to spend that money this calendar year, but decided I shouldnt wait until I had the cash. The reasons are personal, but I think it was definitely the right thing to do. My partner and I are driving safely, sleeping soundly and commuting peacefully!
It does make for a couple revised goals this year:
1) repay $7k + 99 fee by Dec 15 ($1000 Nov 1, $5000 Nov 15, $1099 Dec 15)
2) pay for xmas in cash
3) save. anything?
Id really, really like to have some savings! Its not currently realistic until Jan, but there is the possibility some extra income over the next couple months could change that. I will commit to saving at least 50% of any extra income.
Not as good news: I decided to utilize a 0% interest cash advance option on one of my credit cards. $7k was used for: deposit + 1.5 months of rent on my *awesome* new home + movers + new bed + new snow tires on the Cayenne.
I had expected to spend that money this calendar year, but decided I shouldnt wait until I had the cash. The reasons are personal, but I think it was definitely the right thing to do. My partner and I are driving safely, sleeping soundly and commuting peacefully!
It does make for a couple revised goals this year:
1) repay $7k + 99 fee by Dec 15 ($1000 Nov 1, $5000 Nov 15, $1099 Dec 15)
2) pay for xmas in cash
3) save. anything?
Id really, really like to have some savings! Its not currently realistic until Jan, but there is the possibility some extra income over the next couple months could change that. I will commit to saving at least 50% of any extra income.
Getting in debt and getting out!
A couple people have asked how I managed to get rid of 43k of cc debt in under a year, so here it is.
How did I accumulate so much debt?
Simply put - I lived beyond my means from ages 19-29. I deluded myself into thinking I was entitled to a lifestyle beyond which I could afford.
- Living in HCOL (SF, LA, Philly) added to my self-delusion.
- Being in relationships with people who had wealthier lifestyles warped by sense of reality and added to my self-delusion.
- Being friends with other self-delusional people allowed me to continue my own lie (LA is full of people with inflated lifestyles and around 2000 SF was full of people with inflated lifestyles, I knew dozens of 'millionaires on paper').
If you are wondering what exactly I spent $43k on? Travel, shopping (I seriously bought 10k in handbags), eating out, moving across the country 3 times and within cities every year, gifts, medical expenses and day to day living expenses. I spent so much money, and felt broke the entire time. Living paycheck to paycheck! By October of 2007 I was paying $1100/month to service my debt. I had a close call over a few months and knew I was one emergency away from being in serious trouble. Also, I felt frustrated with myself that I made a good living, but couldnt help older family members that could use help.
breakdown of debt in October 2007
boa1 $4149.39 @ 32.24
boa2 $12659.56 @ 18.24 (952 @ 24.24)
chase1 $5510.45 @ 29.99
chase2 $10485.15 @ 29.99
chase3 $9582.95 @ 28.74
capone $833.74 @ 14.4
How did I pay it off?
I decided I wanted to start my 30s on a path toward wealth. So, I started. I thought it would take years! I live in SF, made just over 90k/yr when I started.
- I took personal responsibility, and stopped feeling entitled or making excuses.
- I focused mentally on feeling wealthy, and creating wealth in my life
- I went on a cash diet.
- I made a budget.
- I created monthly goals that were hard, but achievable.
- I stopped buying anything and everything (no more handbags, shoes, etc).
- Started eating in.
- Switched to a new job and negotiated 25% pay increase
- Took zero time off in between jobs, took the 80 hours of accrued vacation time paid out in cash and paid off debt.
- I made about 3k from startup options on company I left.
- Negotiated for new work to buy me a cell and pay the montly bill.
- No cable, no home internet.
- Utilized medical savings for pre-tax savings on expenses I knew Id have to pay.
- Worked really hard at the job and 6 months later negotiated a quarterly bonus plan.
- Reduced rent by 30%.
- Sold anything I could (Louis Vuitton bag, I dont need you!).
- I stopped all travel, except for 2 family emergencies (death and surgery).
- Paid off highest interest ccs first (about half were at 30%!!).
- Immersed myself in the world of pfblogs, this msg board, economics and finance books to stay motivated and focused.
How did I accumulate so much debt?
Simply put - I lived beyond my means from ages 19-29. I deluded myself into thinking I was entitled to a lifestyle beyond which I could afford.
- Living in HCOL (SF, LA, Philly) added to my self-delusion.
- Being in relationships with people who had wealthier lifestyles warped by sense of reality and added to my self-delusion.
- Being friends with other self-delusional people allowed me to continue my own lie (LA is full of people with inflated lifestyles and around 2000 SF was full of people with inflated lifestyles, I knew dozens of 'millionaires on paper').
If you are wondering what exactly I spent $43k on? Travel, shopping (I seriously bought 10k in handbags), eating out, moving across the country 3 times and within cities every year, gifts, medical expenses and day to day living expenses. I spent so much money, and felt broke the entire time. Living paycheck to paycheck! By October of 2007 I was paying $1100/month to service my debt. I had a close call over a few months and knew I was one emergency away from being in serious trouble. Also, I felt frustrated with myself that I made a good living, but couldnt help older family members that could use help.
breakdown of debt in October 2007
boa1 $4149.39 @ 32.24
boa2 $12659.56 @ 18.24 (952 @ 24.24)
chase1 $5510.45 @ 29.99
chase2 $10485.15 @ 29.99
chase3 $9582.95 @ 28.74
capone $833.74 @ 14.4
How did I pay it off?
I decided I wanted to start my 30s on a path toward wealth. So, I started. I thought it would take years! I live in SF, made just over 90k/yr when I started.
- I took personal responsibility, and stopped feeling entitled or making excuses.
- I focused mentally on feeling wealthy, and creating wealth in my life
- I went on a cash diet.
- I made a budget.
- I created monthly goals that were hard, but achievable.
- I stopped buying anything and everything (no more handbags, shoes, etc).
- Started eating in.
- Switched to a new job and negotiated 25% pay increase
- Took zero time off in between jobs, took the 80 hours of accrued vacation time paid out in cash and paid off debt.
- I made about 3k from startup options on company I left.
- Negotiated for new work to buy me a cell and pay the montly bill.
- No cable, no home internet.
- Utilized medical savings for pre-tax savings on expenses I knew Id have to pay.
- Worked really hard at the job and 6 months later negotiated a quarterly bonus plan.
- Reduced rent by 30%.
- Sold anything I could (Louis Vuitton bag, I dont need you!).
- I stopped all travel, except for 2 family emergencies (death and surgery).
- Paid off highest interest ccs first (about half were at 30%!!).
- Immersed myself in the world of pfblogs, this msg board, economics and finance books to stay motivated and focused.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Abundance and Gratitude - Day 19
*deep breath*
Its been a hard week. And this week, really especially this week, I need to find my way to abundance and gratitude.
Day 19 of participating in an exercise that is a great idea from Millionaire Mommy Next Door to re-focus on manifesting abundance thankfulness.
Day 19: $26,214,400 spending spree:
- Start a foundation for 'Chances into the double digits'.
I am grateful for:
- being cc debt free
- goodness. unseen, seen, known and unknown.
- friendship, compassion, understanding, caring.
Its been a hard week. And this week, really especially this week, I need to find my way to abundance and gratitude.
Day 19 of participating in an exercise that is a great idea from Millionaire Mommy Next Door to re-focus on manifesting abundance thankfulness.
Day 19: $26,214,400 spending spree:
- Start a foundation for 'Chances into the double digits'.
I am grateful for:
- being cc debt free
- goodness. unseen, seen, known and unknown.
- friendship, compassion, understanding, caring.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
I paid off $43,221 in cc debt in less than a year! I DID IT!!
I made my final payment yesterday. I now have *zero* credit card debt!
Less than one year ago in October 2007, my credit card debt looked like this:
boa1 $4149.39 @ 32.24
boa2 $12659.56 @ 18.24 (952 @ 24.24)
chase1 $5510.45 @ 29.99
chase2 $10485.15 @ 29.99
chase3 $9582.95 @ 28.74
capone $833.74 @ 14.4
----------
$43221.24
I would guess that I actually paid about $48-50k in the last year to eliminate the debt, due to the high interest rates on many of the cards.
I also paid $700 towards my personal loan repayment! It is on schedule to be paid back by Oct 15 :)
Less than one year ago in October 2007, my credit card debt looked like this:
boa1 $4149.39 @ 32.24
boa2 $12659.56 @ 18.24 (952 @ 24.24)
chase1 $5510.45 @ 29.99
chase2 $10485.15 @ 29.99
chase3 $9582.95 @ 28.74
capone $833.74 @ 14.4
----------
$43221.24
I would guess that I actually paid about $48-50k in the last year to eliminate the debt, due to the high interest rates on many of the cards.
I also paid $700 towards my personal loan repayment! It is on schedule to be paid back by Oct 15 :)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I am sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you.
The last week has been mind-blowing! I am so very thankful.
A few recaps on the wonderful world of wealth manifesting!
- A co-worker handed me a $100 Amazon gift certificate (for something I 'won' months ago, I couldnt really remember but ok!)
- The BF received a stunning offer for employment. It is not only lucrative, but sets him up for success in an amazing organization with a group of people that respect him and I believe will make him happy.
- Im now 5 days away from being cc debt free!
- A beautiful new baby cousin was born last Friday! 4 weeks early, but mom and daughter are incredibly healthy and at home.
- The last is very special...here is the full story.
Last Friday a beautiful soul of a friend invited me to her church of Religious Science to a free session with Dr Hew Len (co author of Zero Limits). A gift itself, since his paid sessions are $400+! Although I had heard of Ho'oponopono, I had not read any books or attended any sessions. Dr Hew Len had a very powerful message -- you are the universe, to fix the universe, fix yourself. Fix yourself by returning to purity of heart, that blank canvas -- quiet the inner memories playing over and over that hold you back from having purity of heart in the now. He suggests using simple phrases to help you clean (said to yourself, to anything, to anyone, to everything, because everything is everything). I am sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you.
I couldnt sleep last night. My mind suddenly settled upon thoughts of my dear Grandpa. I started to cry, but tried to 'clean'. Chanting to myself - I am sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you.
Grandpa passed unexpectedly last November just before Thanksgiving. I arrived at his bedside (after a cross country flight booked on an hours notice) about 30 minutes after he had passed. His two children, my Mom and her brother, didnt speak to each other or to Grandpa, and upon notifying each of his passing mayhem ensued. In fact, Mom still isnt speaking to my sister and I because I notified her brother of Grandpa's death.
But despite the tragedy, there was much to be thankful for that Thanksgiving. Id made a real effort in the last 5 years to write Grandpa weekly, to remind him constantly that I loved him unconditionally, and that he had been an amazing example of how to love -- he felt it, it changed his last few years, Im sure. And I had managed to reconnect with my only cousins the day I left to see him on his deathbed, thanks to the internet. They are beautiful, sweet, intelligent girls - and one of them just brought my new little cousin into the world! I also was able to see several close family members when I flew back the next week for the funeral. Grandpa's brother (whom Id never met and now keep in contact with), Great Aunts and Uncles I hadnt seen in years, etc. Amazing.
One thing had lingered in my mind. About 2 years before Grandpa passed, I gave him a gift for his birthday. It was an odd idea for a gift that came to me in an inspired manner. Id received a beautiful watch for Christmas the year before, a Jaeger-LeCoultre Reverso. In researching the watch, I found and bought an original ad for the Reverso from a French magazine from 1939. The ad only showed a hand and lower arm, but it was a serviceman's arm. I did some investigation and found out that JLC manufactured pocket watches for servicemen during WW2. Since my Grandpa served in WW2, I thought he might like it. I set my watch and his to be precisely synced and sent him the gift with a card reminding him that in all the hours of all the days, Id be right there with him if he just looked at that watch.
He loved it. Took it down to the VA the day he received it to show all his war buddies. In my visits to him after that day the watch was always sitting right next to him.
Last night, when I cried, I wondered what had become of that watch. Id thought of it a few times in the last 10 months. Because of the turmoil in the family and over his affairs, I thought it best to not say anything. I decided the watch would find me one day if it was meant to me. I thought of the watch lovingly. And I 'cleaned'. I am sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you. I love you. As I fell back asleep I felt a light touch on the crown of my head and smiled.
I awoke this morning and checked my email. One new message, sent moments after I fell asleep:
Hi - I'm sorry for the long delay but if you will e-mail me your current address, I will mail Mr. xxxx' watch to you.
My eyes welled up with tears of joy. I am sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you.
A few recaps on the wonderful world of wealth manifesting!
- A co-worker handed me a $100 Amazon gift certificate (for something I 'won' months ago, I couldnt really remember but ok!)
- The BF received a stunning offer for employment. It is not only lucrative, but sets him up for success in an amazing organization with a group of people that respect him and I believe will make him happy.
- Im now 5 days away from being cc debt free!
- A beautiful new baby cousin was born last Friday! 4 weeks early, but mom and daughter are incredibly healthy and at home.
- The last is very special...here is the full story.
Last Friday a beautiful soul of a friend invited me to her church of Religious Science to a free session with Dr Hew Len (co author of Zero Limits). A gift itself, since his paid sessions are $400+! Although I had heard of Ho'oponopono, I had not read any books or attended any sessions. Dr Hew Len had a very powerful message -- you are the universe, to fix the universe, fix yourself. Fix yourself by returning to purity of heart, that blank canvas -- quiet the inner memories playing over and over that hold you back from having purity of heart in the now. He suggests using simple phrases to help you clean (said to yourself, to anything, to anyone, to everything, because everything is everything). I am sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you.
I couldnt sleep last night. My mind suddenly settled upon thoughts of my dear Grandpa. I started to cry, but tried to 'clean'. Chanting to myself - I am sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you.
Grandpa passed unexpectedly last November just before Thanksgiving. I arrived at his bedside (after a cross country flight booked on an hours notice) about 30 minutes after he had passed. His two children, my Mom and her brother, didnt speak to each other or to Grandpa, and upon notifying each of his passing mayhem ensued. In fact, Mom still isnt speaking to my sister and I because I notified her brother of Grandpa's death.
But despite the tragedy, there was much to be thankful for that Thanksgiving. Id made a real effort in the last 5 years to write Grandpa weekly, to remind him constantly that I loved him unconditionally, and that he had been an amazing example of how to love -- he felt it, it changed his last few years, Im sure. And I had managed to reconnect with my only cousins the day I left to see him on his deathbed, thanks to the internet. They are beautiful, sweet, intelligent girls - and one of them just brought my new little cousin into the world! I also was able to see several close family members when I flew back the next week for the funeral. Grandpa's brother (whom Id never met and now keep in contact with), Great Aunts and Uncles I hadnt seen in years, etc. Amazing.
One thing had lingered in my mind. About 2 years before Grandpa passed, I gave him a gift for his birthday. It was an odd idea for a gift that came to me in an inspired manner. Id received a beautiful watch for Christmas the year before, a Jaeger-LeCoultre Reverso. In researching the watch, I found and bought an original ad for the Reverso from a French magazine from 1939. The ad only showed a hand and lower arm, but it was a serviceman's arm. I did some investigation and found out that JLC manufactured pocket watches for servicemen during WW2. Since my Grandpa served in WW2, I thought he might like it. I set my watch and his to be precisely synced and sent him the gift with a card reminding him that in all the hours of all the days, Id be right there with him if he just looked at that watch.
He loved it. Took it down to the VA the day he received it to show all his war buddies. In my visits to him after that day the watch was always sitting right next to him.
Last night, when I cried, I wondered what had become of that watch. Id thought of it a few times in the last 10 months. Because of the turmoil in the family and over his affairs, I thought it best to not say anything. I decided the watch would find me one day if it was meant to me. I thought of the watch lovingly. And I 'cleaned'. I am sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you. I love you. As I fell back asleep I felt a light touch on the crown of my head and smiled.
I awoke this morning and checked my email. One new message, sent moments after I fell asleep:
Hi - I'm sorry for the long delay but if you will e-mail me your current address, I will mail Mr. xxxx' watch to you.
My eyes welled up with tears of joy. I am sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you.
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