Abundance and Gratitude - Day 19

*deep breath*

Its been a hard week. And this week, really especially this week, I need to find my way to abundance and gratitude.

Day 19 of participating in an exercise that is a great idea from Millionaire Mommy Next Door to re-focus on manifesting abundance thankfulness.

Day 19: $26,214,400 spending spree:
- Start a foundation for 'Chances into the double digits'.

I am grateful for:
- being cc debt free
- goodness. unseen, seen, known and unknown.
- friendship, compassion, understanding, caring.

I paid off $43,221 in cc debt in less than a year! I DID IT!!

I made my final payment yesterday. I now have *zero* credit card debt!

Less than one year ago in October 2007, my credit card debt looked like this:
boa1 $4149.39 @ 32.24
boa2 $12659.56 @ 18.24 (952 @ 24.24)
chase1 $5510.45 @ 29.99
chase2 $10485.15 @ 29.99
chase3 $9582.95 @ 28.74
capone $833.74 @ 14.4
----------
$43221.24

I would guess that I actually paid about $48-50k in the last year to eliminate the debt, due to the high interest rates on many of the cards.

I also paid $700 towards my personal loan repayment! It is on schedule to be paid back by Oct 15 :)

I am sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you.

The last week has been mind-blowing! I am so very thankful.

A few recaps on the wonderful world of wealth manifesting!
- A co-worker handed me a $100 Amazon gift certificate (for something I 'won' months ago, I couldnt really remember but ok!)
- The BF received a stunning offer for employment. It is not only lucrative, but sets him up for success in an amazing organization with a group of people that respect him and I believe will make him happy.
- Im now 5 days away from being cc debt free!
- A beautiful new baby cousin was born last Friday! 4 weeks early, but mom and daughter are incredibly healthy and at home.
- The last is very special...here is the full story.

Last Friday a beautiful soul of a friend invited me to her church of Religious Science to a free session with Dr Hew Len (co author of Zero Limits). A gift itself, since his paid sessions are $400+! Although I had heard of Ho'oponopono, I had not read any books or attended any sessions. Dr Hew Len had a very powerful message -- you are the universe, to fix the universe, fix yourself. Fix yourself by returning to purity of heart, that blank canvas -- quiet the inner memories playing over and over that hold you back from having purity of heart in the now. He suggests using simple phrases to help you clean (said to yourself, to anything, to anyone, to everything, because everything is everything). I am sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you.

I couldnt sleep last night. My mind suddenly settled upon thoughts of my dear Grandpa. I started to cry, but tried to 'clean'. Chanting to myself - I am sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you.

Grandpa passed unexpectedly last November just before Thanksgiving. I arrived at his bedside (after a cross country flight booked on an hours notice) about 30 minutes after he had passed. His two children, my Mom and her brother, didnt speak to each other or to Grandpa, and upon notifying each of his passing mayhem ensued. In fact, Mom still isnt speaking to my sister and I because I notified her brother of Grandpa's death.

But despite the tragedy, there was much to be thankful for that Thanksgiving. Id made a real effort in the last 5 years to write Grandpa weekly, to remind him constantly that I loved him unconditionally, and that he had been an amazing example of how to love -- he felt it, it changed his last few years, Im sure. And I had managed to reconnect with my only cousins the day I left to see him on his deathbed, thanks to the internet. They are beautiful, sweet, intelligent girls - and one of them just brought my new little cousin into the world! I also was able to see several close family members when I flew back the next week for the funeral. Grandpa's brother (whom Id never met and now keep in contact with), Great Aunts and Uncles I hadnt seen in years, etc. Amazing.

One thing had lingered in my mind. About 2 years before Grandpa passed, I gave him a gift for his birthday. It was an odd idea for a gift that came to me in an inspired manner. Id received a beautiful watch for Christmas the year before, a Jaeger-LeCoultre Reverso. In researching the watch, I found and bought an original ad for the Reverso from a French magazine from 1939. The ad only showed a hand and lower arm, but it was a serviceman's arm. I did some investigation and found out that JLC manufactured pocket watches for servicemen during WW2. Since my Grandpa served in WW2, I thought he might like it. I set my watch and his to be precisely synced and sent him the gift with a card reminding him that in all the hours of all the days, Id be right there with him if he just looked at that watch.

He loved it. Took it down to the VA the day he received it to show all his war buddies. In my visits to him after that day the watch was always sitting right next to him.

Last night, when I cried, I wondered what had become of that watch. Id thought of it a few times in the last 10 months. Because of the turmoil in the family and over his affairs, I thought it best to not say anything. I decided the watch would find me one day if it was meant to me. I thought of the watch lovingly. And I 'cleaned'. I am sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you. I love you. As I fell back asleep I felt a light touch on the crown of my head and smiled.

I awoke this morning and checked my email. One new message, sent moments after I fell asleep:

Hi - I'm sorry for the long delay but if you will e-mail me your current address, I will mail Mr. xxxx' watch to you.

My eyes welled up with tears of joy. I am sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you.